I Need You
by drivewayninja
Summary: James confesses his real feelings to Lily and tries to get over her finally. Lily wants to be friends but doesnt realize the feelings she has for James. Neither of them really know the other and are more in love with the idea of the other than the real person. Starts in 6th year just before summer vacation.
1. I Need You

"_I think I need you because you don't need me._" The words echoed around the room as Lily sat there in silence. He looked at her with wild desperation in his face and moved to embrace her as if he wanted to kiss her.

"James, I can't. You know I can't." Lily took a step back from him looking into his eyes. Her emerald eyes were filled with emotion that he could not decipher. Suddenly she turned and ran from the room, not bothering to look back over her shoulder as James crumpled to the ground. He was in tears and shattered yet again by the beautiful Lily Evans, and the worst part was he would do it all again to get close to her.

He would endure this heartbreaking feeling over and over just to be near her, to stroke her hair, to get close enough to count the freckles on the bridge of her nose. James Potter was madly in love and Lily Evans just didn't care. Eventually he picked himself up and hauled himself to Gryffindor tower where he passed out on one of the couches in the common room. His last thoughts as he fell asleep were of that look in her eyes, it seemed almost surprised but not at him. Like she was surprised with herself. If she did feel anything at all he would die a happy man but for now sleep floated his thoughts of Lily Evans away, for once in those 6 years he had known her he did not dream of her.

**\- Hey guys, so I got the idea for this story and I have no clue what to really do with it so if anyone wants to send me reviews of what I should do with it or wants to commandeer it then go ahead. In my mind this is set at the end of their 6****th**** year and its right before Lily realizes how she feels about James. I would like to write a little of what happened before this or maybe incorporate it into my other story "The Beginning" but until I get some real story writing inspiration I guess this will just be stand alone. Don't forget to review…. Thanks -**


	2. How I Dream of Counting Those Freckles

**Lily's POV**

Lily walked quickly out of the classroom. _What the fuck does that boy think he is doing? Confessing his love to me right before the holidays. Like I don't have enough to worry about. _Lily fumed silently as she walked back to Gryffindor tower. _Its not like I actually like him. Why would he even say that sort of shit... "I think I need you because you don't need me" What kind of bullshit is that?_

Lily knew she was fuming for a reason. Lately she had been noticing James Potter more and more. Little things about him that used to annoy her _THEY STILL DO ANNOY ME!_ were beginning to annoy her in different ways. Sure she hated his guts but there was an inkling in her that she might miss him over the summer holidays. The way he messed up his hair so it looked windblown she now realized was an attractive way of keeping his hair out of his eyes. Not that she had been watching.

No. Lily Evans most certainly did not feel anything for James Potter. But this night as she walked up the stairs she toyed with an idea that she had sworn many times she would rather shag the giant squid than do. _I wonder what it would really be like to date James... I mean Potter. He is stupidly, idiotically romantic. He is attractive, well liked, quidditch captain, fiercely loyal, protective, brave, he knows how to make me laugh... not that I would ever laugh in front of him. I'm a prefect, maybe head girl next year. I can't encourage his rule breaking. _

What neither Lily Evans or James Potter realized was that Lily Evans was beginning to need James Potter almost as much as he needed her.

_Maybe I should give him a chance next year. I'll ask Remus for his address and swear him to secrecy. Maybe write James a letter. Ask to be friends. _As Lily reached the common room she did just that.

"Remus! I want to ask you something but I need it to stay a secret. Like take it to the grave not even howling it at the moon secret." Lily grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the hallway and then through the closest door she could find. _A broom cupboard... Brilliant. Hope no one finds us._

"Lily... You realize I can't do this right? James is my best friend."

"Oh I'm not here to snog you. This is actually about James." Remus's eyes widened at that. "Look James just spilled his whole feelings to me and I don't know why but I actually felt something... not love or anything but I felt something. I'm confused."

"Whoa. You weren't kidding about the secrecy."

Lily smacked Remus's arm lightly. "Look I want his address. I don't know if I will write him or not but I think I might want to try being his friend. But what ever you do YOU CANNOT TELL HIM. I don't know what it is I'm feeling and these thoughts have been coming into my head for weeks. He is annoying me in a whole different way and I keep staring at him. Its so frustrating."

"Lily, look, I'll give you his address but I can't do it tonight. I might be able to slip away and give it to you tomorrow but we leave the day after. I'll be busy packing. If I can't get it to you before we leave I'll send it to you in a letter."

"Oh thank you thank you thank you Remus. You are the best!" Lily pulled him in for a hug and went to kiss his cheek when the door opened. _Shit._

"Oh shit Sirius, I guess this one is taken. Lets go find an other" Some 5th year blonde giggled at his side. Sirius was glaring at the two of them.

"No. I'm done for the night Marie. Go back to Ravenclaw tower."

Remus looked sheepish. Lily looked worried. Marie looked drunk. Sirius looked at Remus and shook his head.

As Marie walked down the hall Lily grabbed Sirius and pulled him into the closet too.

"Sirius first of all this is not at all what it looked like and I will explain it but you have to swear not to tell James!" Lily said in a rush. Sirius merely raised his eyebrows and made a motion with his hand as if to say "Go on" so Lily did. Explaining everything she had said to Remus and only when she had finished did he say anything.

"At least Remmy here isn't betraying his best mate. Also Evans you are sooooo crushing on Prongs. Its obvious from what you said. He says the same things all the time 'Oh Padfoot! You glorious man! Evans is so bloody annoying and I can't stop looking at her! Look at her brilliant carroty hair and her perfectly freckled skin! Oh how I dream of counting those freckles!' Thats a direct quote by the way. I'll distract Prongs and Wormtail so Remmy can get you the address."


	3. Writing letters

"Dear James" she started off her letter "please don't think I'm writing to you for any reason other than Remus told me you had made head boy with me."

Uhg no. That sounds so rude. But how else can I tell him this isn't what he wishes it were.

"Since we're going to be head boy and girl and sharing a quarters as well as working closely together I think we should try to be friends. I mean real friends. I'll try to loosen up and not snap at you if you don't ask me out every chance you get. I'll include my address and you can owl me back.

Your friend?

Lily"

Well that ought to do it. She sealed the letter and attached it to her beautiful eagle owl.

"Hopefully this reaches him well girl. You don't have to stick around and wait for him unless he starts writing right away. He's got his own owl too" the owl took off out her window and she felt a pang in her heart as she always did during holidays. She missed hogwarts and the wizarding world.

Well, she thought to herself, you've got your school list and you've been 17 since April. Nothing's stopping you from going to diagon ally. Maybe I'll even see James there.

She had been thinking about James a lot this summer. About his confession. About his hair and his sparkling brown eyes. The stupid way he carried himself with such nobility.

That last day of school she had noticed how he ran. Like a deer almost. She pushed the thoughts out of her head and put some clothes on. She hoped she'd see a friend in diagon but at least she'd get some ice cream.

James was sitting on his back steps when he got the letter and he'd barely thought of lily all summer. He was confused to say the least as he saw the girlish handwriting saying his address. That plus an owl he did not know.

He tore the envelope open carelessly and read the letter unbelieving. She wants to be friends? Now? I mean her reasons make sense but how does she have my address?

Sirius strolled out of the house towards him. "What's that you've got there? Does Jamie have a girlfriend?!"

"Sod off. Evans wrote me. Don't know how she got my address. She says she wants to be friends!"

"She wants to be friends? She probably wants to snog you!" Sirius said. "Chicks do that stuff when they don't want commitment."

"Noooo it's cause we have to live together next year. Didn't know head boy and girl have their own rooms away from the common room."

"WHAT? NO! The four musketeers can't be separated! We can't live apart!"

"Sirius. Calm down. What do I say to Evans? I mean I'd love to be friends with her. It will make working with her that much easier but I've finally gotten over her."

"Bruh don't worry we will write the perfect letter with none of that love lettery shit you wrote to her in third year!"

"Hey that was a romantic gesture!"

"You said her eyes looked like pickles!"

James let himself be dragged off knowing that the letter would be perfect. And even if it wasn't it didn't need to be. He and Evans could be friends now that his feelings weren't in the way.


End file.
